The Hash started early for me, not having worked out the scale of the map I was using, the venue looked very close to the Fruangen Tunnelbana - so along with 3 visitors: Baby Face (my son), his wife and Chavakali (Nairobi) we decided to walk. We soon came across a bar and the sight of an empty table outside on such a beautiful sunny day (thanks RA) was just too much of a temptation to pass up - so we didn’t - and it was half an hour later before we were once more on our way. The map proved to be useless and it was with much tooing and frowing (checking) that we slowly made our way. On route we were greeted with a cheer of ”On On” and a bicycle skidding to halt, it was Malibog closely followed by SO. Good news as we now had a promise of the route being marked too - so even more like a Hash. Having just found a mark to turn right at the ICA shop the Turmiteomobile was spotted and a lift was thumbed (and legged) to Mite Mansions. All this before we even started!

Collared:

Within minutes the RA (VD Viking) collared me saying, ”You’ve been coming long enough! You can write the Trash as I’m fed up forgetting to nominate someone and I always end up doing it myself”. Looking around I note several new faces, this is my 3rd Absolute run and not many names have sunk in yet either. Coupled with my inability to keep up with anyone other than Mad Swede (on one of his bad days), I think! I’ll have to use some memory techniques, trouble is I don’t know any and as my half a brain is now severely damaged by years of Hashing I hatch a plan to get a pen and paper and take notes. Like all good plans it never worked out that way. So read on and fill in the bits I have missed.

The Run:

Runners = 20 or so!?
Termite announced that he was going to lay a live run, asking for 10mins start and muttering something about Uncle Mite he set off. The run through the forest was well thought out and gave good opportunities for the likes of yours truly and other virtual runners to short cut. Some well designed checks caught out the front- runners several times - I know this because I kept catching up. Two Hashers didn’t pay too much attention to where they were going, they followed female Arse instead of grass, and were rewarded with injuries: Malibog a chipped elbow; and My Little Turd a twisted ankle.

Despite all the short cuts and near to exhaustion I spotted the ICA store that is close to Mite Mansions. Decision time: Do I: a) go straight to Mite Mansions and hope someone is there to give me beer? or; b) assume there really is going to be a Beer Stop and carry on? Before I could make a decision Mad Swede appeared and made my mind up for me. He was off to the Beer Stop, which he thought would be by the lake. If he can make it - I can too methinks!

The Beer Stop was atop a rock and the cool breeze was most welcome - the Warm Beer was not so welcome but very much appreciated anyway. Time now for Uncle Mite to take over - he had laid the final trail. The runners were off and the walkers went straight to Mite Mansions - I went another way and so my story of the run ends except for one last observation. Just as I arrive at Mite Mansions, Swirt appeared took a quick look and ran off in the opposite direction. Several kind Hashers shouted to him to come back - had he not he would have been back on the In trail.

The Circle:

The fog is now settling, on my brain that is, who were all those new faces? Malibog and My Little Turd were rewarded for damaging the forest and both took advantage of the nursing capabilities of Marmite. Malibog was called up again for being Malibog I think. Bashful was wearing a rear view mirror attached to his spectacles and was also rewarded for being quiet. Newcomers and returnees were celebrated, there was: Baby Face, his wife Helen, Chavakila (wife of Kabila), A tall guy who had been hashing in the Phillipines and a couple others who’s names elude me. VD Viking didn’t give a down down so I nominated for one (can’t remember what for) and had to join him as RA’s don’t drink alone.

Après Hash

Uncle Mite’s homemade Wines went down a treat. And just as we were getting stuck into the Meatloaf and Pasta, Kabila (ex Nairobi RA), having just finished 1⁄2 The Stockholm Marathon paid his first visit to the Absolute Hash and was awarded a down down. Several requests for the Sauna were made and Marmite got quite excited and so asked SO to go and fire it up. An hour later SO was again summoned as all he managed to do was switch the light on. I left soon after this and so don’t have any further tales to tell. I do know it ended around 1am as Clever Dick related the story of his journey home on Malibog’s bike at the Wednesday run.